Finally...a look into the man's world....here's the rules ladies.?

We always hear %26quot;the rules%26quot;


from the female side.


Now here are the rules from the male side.





These are our rules!


Please note... these are all numbered %26quot;1%26quot;


ON PURPOSE!





1. Learn to work the toilet seat.


You%26#039;re a big girl. If it%26#039;s up, put it down.


We need it up, you need it down.


You don%26#039;t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.





1. Sunday sports. It%26#039;s like the full moon


or the changing of the tides.


Let it be.





1. Shopping is NOT a sport.


And no, we are never going to think of it that way.





1. Crying is blackmail.





1. Ask for what you want.


Let us be clear on this one:


Subtle hints do not work!


Strong hints do not work!


Obvious hints do not work!


Just say it!





1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every


question.





1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.


That%26#039;s what we do.


Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.





1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.


See a doctor.





1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.


In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.





1. If you won%26#039;t dress like the Victoria%26#039;s Secret girls,


don%26#039;t expect us to act like soap opera guys.





1. If you think you%26#039;re fat, you probably are.


Don%26#039;t ask us.





1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways


and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,


we meant the other one.





1. You can either ask us to do something


or tell us how you want it done.


Not both.


If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.





1. Whenever possible,


please say whatever you have to say during commercials.





1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.





1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.


Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.


We have no idea what mauve is.





1. If it itches, it will be scratched.


We do that.





1. If we ask what is wrong and you say %26quot;nothing,%26quot;


we will act like nothing%26#039;s wrong.


We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.





1. If you ask a question you don%26#039;t want an answer to,


expect an answer you don%26#039;t want to hear.





1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear


is fine..Really.





1. Don%26#039;t ask us what we%26#039;re thinking about unless you are


prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,


Monster trucks, or football.





1. You have enough clothes.





1. You have too many shoes.





1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.





1. Thank you for reading this.


Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


but did you know men really don%26#039;t mind that? It%26#039;s like camping.

Finally...a look into the man%26#039;s world....here%26#039;s the rules ladies.?
You know I was just having a bad day thinking about some of these things in my relationship with my hubby!


I am so glad to have read this :-)


Makes it much easier to take things %26amp; still be happy about life!





Thanks for putting it down..
Reply:I began going thru some of these.......


why bother finishing.......


such ignorance......
Reply:u are definitely a man!! i ve read a book by john gray : mars and venus!! man u know what u r saying!! good for u. i loved what u wrote!! almost a poem!! im gonna make a copy of it, i loved it, the best thing i ve ever read so far!! very poetic
Reply:and I suppose now you%26#039;re going to tell me that 1. Men do not have access to unlimited piles of money which they begrudge giving to their wives.
Reply:Awesome list. However, I guess I%26#039;m not very manly when it comes to the toilet issue. I prefer for both the seat to be down and the lid closed also. I live with cats who enjoy tapping things so they fall.... like a scrunchy dropping from the top of the tank into the bowl. This is an issue of practicality though. Women%26#039;s issue with the toilet seat is that of pure laziness. How lazy and absent-minded does a person have to be to not look where they are sitting before they sit down? That%26#039;s just irresponsible to a disgusting level. Anyone who does this deserves to have the seat wrapped in plastic at least once.
Reply:Arrrggghhh! I am primordial man. I live in the woods. You got a problem with that?
Reply:wow...ummm thank you..


its really nice of you to take the time to write it down
Reply:that is a great list of rules and I%26#039;m female, thanks for clearing things up for us!
Reply:classic, I love that a woman posted this
Reply:Let me take a guess...you%26#039;re single? Hope you like it, because you will probably be for a long time!
Reply:Nice! It happens to be true!
Reply:Shocking how many people this would help if they jsut read it and actually used it....well accept what we can use against you. I have the memory of an elephant but thank god not the butt of one!!!
Reply:THIS IS LIKE SO TRUE.....ITS SO FUNNY!!!
Reply:men, do not disclose the above information when you get down to your knee to pop the question. can you imagine saying %26quot;If you think you%26#039;re fat, you probably are. Don%26#039;t ask me..... now will you marry me?%26quot;
Reply:I found this humous and entertaining and agreed with most of these rules even though I am a woman. Most men are easy to please, most women are not. Sorry girls, but I have seen this to be true, me being guilty as charged also. LOL! But, we keep trying.
Reply:Your right on all accounts EXCEPT the toliet seat!! You use it to SIT too!!
Reply:youre list, is smack on, well done, blue
Reply:Keeping it real !!
Reply:Funny and true.



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