The pianist is a bit rude?

An out of work pianist with Tourettes Syndrome is strolling around


the streets and bars of Soho one unemployed afternoon.





Walking down Dean Street he sees a lounge bar with a sign in the


window %26#039;%26#039;Pianist wanted for evening performances%26#039;%26#039;.





%26#039;%26#039;Fu**ing get in there you c*nt!%26#039;%26#039; he says to himself and goes to


the bar. %26#039;%26#039;Get the fu**ing manager of this pigs **it middle class


w*nkhole please you c*nt%26#039;%26#039;, he says to a somewhat startled barman. The


barman however obliges and his manager comes upstairs. %26#039;%26#039;Can I help you


sir?%26#039;%26#039; he says %26#039;%26#039;Yes you can you fat piece of s*it, I saw your poxy


advert


in the c*nting window and I%26#039;%26#039;m here to audition.....w*nker.%26#039;%26#039; The manager


is


naturally put off by the man%26#039;%26#039;s abrasive manner but his dire need for a


top


class pianist forces him to agree to an audition. The first tune he


Pianist plays is an uplifting jazzy number, not too involving, yet


utterly


melodic. At the end the thrilled barman cries, %26#039;%26#039;Wonderful, wonderful.


What


was that called?%26#039;%26#039; %26#039;%26#039;That song was called %26quot;Excuse me prime minister but I





just j*zzed in your daughter%26#039;%26#039;s eye, and now the c*nts blind...%26#039;%26#039;





%26#039;%26#039;Oh%26#039;%26#039; says the manager %26#039;%26#039;err, can you play me another. Something a little





less %26quot;lively%26quot;. %26#039;%26#039;W*nker..%26#039;%26#039; interjects the pianist before launching into


a


powerful ballad which leaves the manager in tears. The manager through


his


salty teardrops asks him the title.





%26#039;%26#039;That little number was called %26quot;Sometimes when you do a bird up the


sh*t


box you get cr*p on your bell end.%26#039;%26#039; I see%26#039;%26#039; says the manager, %26#039;%26#039;Have you


got


any songs with less offensive titles?%26#039;%26#039; %26#039;%26#039;Well there%26#039;%26#039;s my jazz number %26quot;Do





you want me to split your r*ngpiece%26quot;, or there%26#039;%26#039;s the epic %26quot;I don%26#039;%26#039;t care


if


you%26#039;%26#039;re older my dear, you%26#039;%26#039;ve still got nice jugs%26quot;. %26#039;%26#039;Look%26#039;%26#039; says the


manager


interrupting, I think you%26#039;%26#039;re a superb pianist but the title of your


songs


are a little %26quot;racy%26quot;. I will hire you on the condition that you do not


introduce your songs or speak to the audience.%26#039;%26#039; %26#039;%26#039;F*ck it%26#039;%26#039; says the


pianist


%26#039;%26#039;Why not%26#039;%26#039;. On his first night everything is going superbly the crowd


are


lapping up his repertoire and his silence is being received as modesty.








The only thing putting off the pianist is that in the front row there


is a


gorgeous blonde in a black evening dress with a split up the side


revealing the tops of her stockings, and a plunging neckline which


boasts


a proud and inviting cleavage.





During the interval the pianist has got such a stonking hard on that he





decides to go to the bog and knock one out. Just as he has shot his muck





he hears himself being re-introduced over the tannoy, so he rushes back


to


the stage and finishes his act. After the show he is at the bar


relaxing


when the blonde


approaches him.%26#039;%26#039;Hi%26#039;%26#039; she says. %26#039;%26#039;Hello%26#039;%26#039; he winces, struggling to hold in


the





expletives. She leans over and whispers in his ear, %26#039;%26#039;Do you know your


c*ck


is hanging out of your trousers, and sp*nk is dribbling onto


your shoes?%26#039;%26#039;














%26#039;%26#039;Know it?%26#039;%26#039; says the pianist putting his beer on the bar confidently,





I f*cking wrote it!!!%26#039;%26#039;

The pianist is a bit rude?
I%26#039;m rolling in laughter, my brother has turrets syndrome and he loved it too.
Reply:that was hillarious.
Reply:wow that was extremely long...but dont worry i didnt read it all
Reply:Your characterization of a person with Tourettes Syndrome is





1) Not funny





2) Not true. Less than 10% of People with Tourettes have coprolalia (look it up).





3) Perpetuating misinformation and subsequently hurting others.





Grow up.
Reply:That%26#039;s really gross.
Reply:That was terrible. It was rude, crude, and socially unacceptable.
Reply:How come you get special treatment and don%26#039;t get violated? you didn;t even ask a question!



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