God vs. Satan?

In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and


spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and


Woman would live long and healthy lives.





Then using God%26#039;s bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and


Magnums. And Satan said, %26#039;You want hot fudge with that?





And Man said, %26quot;Yes!%26quot; And Woman said, %26quot;I%26#039;ll have one too with chocolate


chips%26quot;. And so they gained 10 pounds.





And God created the healthy yoghurt that Woman might keep the figure


that Man found so fair.





And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the


cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.





So God said, %26quot;Try my fresh green salad%26quot;.





And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the


side.





And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.





God then said %26quot;I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in


which to cook them%26quot;.





And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped


lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own


platter.





And Man%26#039;s cholesterol went through the roof.





Then God brought forth the potato; naturally low in fat and brimming


with potassium and good nutrition.





Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre


into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities


of salt. And Man put on more pounds.





God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose


those extra pounds.





And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would


not have to toil changing the channels.





And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and


started wearing stretch jogging suits.





Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and


still satisfy his appetite.





And Satan created McDonalds and the 99 cent double cheeseburger.





Then Satan said %26quot;You want fries with that?%26quot; and Man replied, %26quot;Yes, and


super size %26#039;em%26quot;. And Satan said, %26quot;It is good.%26quot;





And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.





God sighed and created quadruple by-pass surgery.





And then Satan chuckled and created the National Health Service.

God vs. Satan?
I had not seen this before. I thought it was freakin%26#039; hillarious!
Reply:NOT funny Report It

Reply:and none of it ends up being mans fault at all








but it is funny
Reply:God =)
Reply:lol! that was soo funny!! keep putting more jokes on yahoo answers !
Reply:Lol that is very funny. I guess we better not give into all the temptation.
Reply:So, I was right, the devil did make the 99 cent double cheeseburger. I will blame him for being overweight!
Reply:*chuckle* Saw this recently somewhere else, but it is still ryely humorous. Not too cheesy to retell, and milk for all it is worth. But since it is in the public doughmain, won%26#039;t give you a plugged pumpernickel for it. And you may try to cream me all you want for saying so. I won%26#039;t carrot all.
Reply:Well done!
Reply:when are you going to die. The trick here is you dont have 2. Life is short, live your life while your young then you can satisy satan in hell after. Where are we anyway and how did you come about knowing satan. Satan is jiberish for jew.
Reply:Maybe you should have a little disclaimer letting people know that you didn%26#039;t come up w/ all that %26quot;cleverness%26quot; by yourself... I%26#039;ve seen that in about 1000 emails.
Reply:So what is your question? Or you just here to tell bad jokes???



book