Personal ads anyone??????

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN%26#039;S PERSONAL ADS:





40-ish - 49


Adventurous - Slept with everyone


Athletic - No ****


Average looking - Ugly


Beautiful - Pathological liar


Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills


Emotionally secure - On medication


Feminist - Fat


Free spirit - Junkie


Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person


Fun - Annoying


New Age - Body hair in the wrong places


Open-minded - Desperate


Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing


Passionate - Sloppy drunk


Professional - *****


Voluptuous - Very Fat


Large frame - Hugely Fat


Wants Soul mate - Stalker





WOMEN%26#039;S ENGLISH:





1. Yes = No


2. No = Yes


3. Maybe = No


4. We need = I want


5. I am sorry = you%26#039;ll be sorry


6. We need to talk = you%26#039;re in trouble


7. Sure, go ahead = you better not


8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later


9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!


10. You%26#039;re very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?





MEN%26#039;S ENGLISH:


1. I am hungry = I am hungry


2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy


3. I am tired = I am tired


4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!


5. I love you = let%26#039;s have sex now


6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?


7. May I have this dance? = I%26#039;d like to have sex with you


8. Can I call you sometime? = I%26#039;d like to have sex with you


9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I%26#039;d like to have sex with you


10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I%26#039;d like to have sex with you


11. Those shoes don%26#039;t go with that outfit = I%26#039;m gay





And finally.....


A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features. However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his ****.

Personal ads anyone??????
ROTFLMAO... and this is sooo bloody true:


However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his ****.


Still laughing!


Charles %26quot;That Cheeky Lad!%26quot;
Reply:My husband and I are killing ourselves laughing over this. He even stopped watching Miss France to read it, well done I couldn%26#039;t have done that if I stood in front of him nake.....oops wrong. GOOOOODBYYYEEEE!!


Merry Christmas.xx
Reply:hahhaaaaahhahahaha
Reply:Very good :-)
Reply:Seen it before, but still good.
Reply:nice 1!!!!!!!!!!!


thumbs up from me!!!
Reply:Have we met ?
Reply:hilariously priceless love it can%26#039;t stop laughing!
Reply:bloody hilarious the men,s English is spot on nice one for posting it cheers
Reply:I%26#039;m sorry, but the first 3 items belong in another section. Sociology or something. A joke should be humor, not just stating the facts.





Your %26quot;And finally...%26quot;, funny, really funny.
Reply:brilliant, you are the answer to our prayers, you know womans minds so well. where did you learn all this.
Reply:Very good lol lol
Reply:Two thumbs up.
Reply:I like, the men%26#039;s discription describes my hubby to a tee..It was like you knew him...Although you described me too, but we wont go there...FUNNY



Camel