Have you used personal ads?

Not offensive I hope!





DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN%26#039;S PERSONAL ADS :





40-ish - 49





Adventurous - Slept with everyone





Athletic - No ****





Average looking - Ugly





Beautiful - Pathological liar





Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills





Emotionally secure - On medication





Feminist - Fat





Free spirit - Junkie





Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person





Fun - Annoying





New Age - Body hair in the wrong places





Open-minded - Desperate





Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing





Passionate - Sloppy drunk





Professional - *****





Voluptuous - Very Fat





Large frame - Hugely Fat





Wants Soul mate - Stalker





WOMEN%26#039;S ENGLISH:





1. Yes = No





2. No = Yes





3. Maybe = No





4. We need = I want





5. I am sorry = you%26#039;ll be sorry





6. We need to talk = you%26#039;re in trouble





7. Sure, go ahead = you better not





8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later





9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!





10. You%26#039;re very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever


think about?





MEN%26#039;S ENGLISH :





1. I am hungry = I am hungry





2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy





3. I am tired = I am tired





4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!





5. I love you = let%26#039;s have sex now





6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?





7. May I have this dance? = I%26#039;d like to have sex


with you





8. Can I call you sometime? = I%26#039;d like to have sex


with you





9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I%26#039;d like to have


sex with you





10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I%26#039;d like to have


sex with you





11. Those shoes don%26#039;t go with that outfit = I%26#039;m gay





And finally.....





A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces


attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle For


example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged,


masculine features. However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man


doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a


cricket stump shoved up his backside.

Have you used personal ads?
Brilliant...and so true
Reply:Ha Ha very funny and so true!! xx
Reply:alot of truth here
Reply:so true esp the one about the research and how we like men during menstruation....lol v funny...u hit the nail on the head
Reply:superb very funny



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